What Heaven feels like
by hiriki
Summary: Living together can be hard. Living together can be disappointing. But, for Saruhiko and Misaki, living together tastes a lot like heaven (and a bit like hell). Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic was supposed to be a looooong one-shot but I don't have the energy to write it all at once, so I decided to break it into a few chapters. I'm not sure about how long it'll be, it'll all depend on my free time and if people get interested in this fic. I have a LOT of ideas for this story, and while I'm really anxious to write them all, I'd like to see what people think of it for now. Thanks for all the support and lovely messages, you guys are great! (also posted on my tumblr, hiriki)  
**

* * *

"...I'm home."

The lazy sound of his own voice startled Saruhiko a little – after all those months, he was still not really used to announcing his presence to another person after coming home from work.

It was even harder to get used to the simple idea of sharing a roof with Yata Misaki.

"No!" An angry voice came from the kitchen while Saruhiko tossed his boots in a random corner of the entrance hall. The young man furrowed his brows.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't come in!"

Ignoring Yata's answer, he sighed and made his way to the kitchen, avoiding Yata's murderous glare as soon as he tossed himself in a nearby chair.

"Don't ignore what I say! Get your ass out of here!"

"Then don't 'no' me." Saruhiko pouted a little. "It's my house too, you know."

"Who cares?! I'm not done with dinner! I can't cook properly with you controlling what I put on our meals and having an attack every time I _touch_ a fucking vegetable!"

"You're being overdramatic."

"And what are you even doing here at this time?! Your shift is not over yet, is it?! It's too damn earlier!" He waved a clean pot ferociously as he talked, an accusatory glare fixed on the other boy.

"Shouldn't people feel calmer when they cook? You look like you could skin a living animal with your bare teeth."

"You didn't answer my fucking question!"

Saruhiko sighed heavily and got up from his chair, walking until he got a bit closer to the other boy.

"Is it that horrible I'm home earlier?" Yata kept glaring at him, and Saruhiko clicked his tongue. "Tch. I just managed to finish my work earlier. I didn't think it'd bother you so much."

The words made Yata raise his eyebrows for a second, lips pursed in nervousness.

"I, uh, I'm not _bothered_-"

"You screamed 'no' as soon as I got home. That's pretty rude, Misaki."

"I-It's just that- I can't bring myself to cook properly with s-someone else watching me! It makes me nervous!"

"I got it, I got it. I will let you play with your pots alone." Yata opened his mouth to protest, but Saruhiko silenced him with a quick kiss on his forehead. "I'll take a bath while you finish it."

"Don't kiss my forehead, I'm not a fucking kid."

"…Someone's anxious for adult's time-"

"Go take your goddamn bath!"

"Mm." Saruhiko leaned in to kiss his forehead once again, grinning mischievously at the boy before turning around.

Yata's eyes followed him as Saruhiko left the kitchen, lips still pursed and a rosy tone coloring his cheeks. They've been living together for a while, but they just couldn't get used to each other – each fight was still full of competition, each awkward moment still made Yata blush like the virgin he wasn't anymore; each kiss still felt like the first.

The smell of his own cooking awakened him from his daze, and he was so busy paying attention to the frying pan that he didn't notice it when Saruhiko came back to the kitchen two minutes after leaving to take a bath. When he turned around to grab a plate, Yata almost jumped in surprise, eyes focusing on Saruhiko's hands as they discarded his blue jacket carelessly on another chair.

"Uwah! What are you doing here?!"

"…I live here."

"Don't play dumb with me! And stop throwing your clothes everywhere!"

Saruhiko clicked his tongue, his head resting on his left hand. Yata was about to complain once again about his unwanted presence on _his_ kitchen, until he noticed how tired Saruhiko looked. He didn't know much about SCEPTER 4's working methods, but the fact that Saruhiko always looked so exhausted after a day of work only made his distaste for the Blues grow.

"…You look like crap."

"Thanks. I feel loved."

Yata waved his hand quickly in the air, trying to repel Saruhiko's commentary as if it was an invisible fly.

"Why don't you just go and take a bath? You'd feel better."

"…I don't want to."

The small amount of hesitation that came before Saruhiko's answer made Yata furrow his eyebrows in suspicion. He wasn't exactly the best person to notice when others were being honest or not, but living with Saruhiko made him realize how much his old friend lied to others and to himself, especially when it involved his own feelings. In Yata's vision, that was an unhealthy habit, so he was trying his best to change that bit about Saruhiko's mentality. He could already notice a few patterns that showed up when Saruhiko lied to him – he'd talk quickly and, unlikely most liars, he'd look Yata straight in the eye. Oh, and there was also the small moment of silence that preceded each one of his lies.

Living together with someone was, indeed, the best way to _know_ the said person.

"Why not?"

Saruhiko glanced at him.

"Shouldn't you be cooking?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just want to know what's keeping you from taking a bath."

"I just said I don't feel like it, didn't I? Don't make a fuss over it."

Yata took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from feeling annoyed at the young man. Saruhiko wasn't exactly the easiest person to deal with – damn, he knew it since middle-school -, but he was getting the hang of it. Besides, he felt a little responsible for him. He was the older one. Okay, a few months older. But a few months were much more relevant than 11 centimeters, he was sure.

Also, he cared a lot about that idiot.

"…Alright. When you decide to talk about it, I _might_ think about washing your back." He grinned.

"Oh? Who said I was interested in having a midget washing my back?" Saruhiko forced a smirk on his face, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

Once again, Yata opened his mouth, ready to throw the angriest answer that he could think about, but the soft smell of his own fried rice calmed him down. Saruhiko was right – cooking was a calming activity, after all.

He turned his attention to his food once again, humming at the familiar sensation of Saruhiko's glare opening a hole in his back. He knew what was happening – he was tempted. He wanted to talk, yet he didn't really. At some point, he'd give in.

"…There's a _thing_ in the bathroom."

"Bingo", Yata though as he grinned to his fried rice, almost expecting it to grin back at him. He was glad Saruhiko couldn't read his thoughts, or else he'd tease him until his next life about how saying "Bingo" was the kind of thing that only an old man with no family would do.

"A thing?"

"Yeah."

"Like, toothpaste?"

"Shut up, Misaki."

Yata's laughter was blissful and loud, and its sound put Saruhiko in a daze. Yata felt accomplished – it was so rare when _he_ was the one being sarcastic and not the other way around.

"So, you won't tell me?"

Saruhiko didn't answer immediately; he was probably still sulking at Yata's sudden disposition for unfunny jokes.

"…Spider." He muttered.

"What?"

"Tch. A stupid spider. On the bathroom."

Yata stared at him for almost a minute.

"And you're, um, scared of it?"

Saruhiko snorted so loudly that Yata almost jumped in surprise.

"Who's _scared_?" He clicked his tongue. "I just don't have any energy left to deal with stupid animals, that's all."

"Ha! You sound a little scared to me."

"I don't want to hear that from the guy who's afraid of ghosts and skirts."

"I-I'm not afraid of s-skirts!" He threw an icy glare at the other boy. "A-And you better treat me well if you want me to kill the damn spider for you!"

"Huh? Who asked you to do that?"

"Ha! _You_'re not going to do it, are you?" If eyes could smirk, Yata's eyes would be smirking. "Leave it to the man of the house! And watch over the food while I'm at it."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Damn righ- wait, what did you just fucking call me?!"

"My bad, Misaki. It's a natural reflex. Blame it on the Lieutenant."

"As if! You damn-"

"Also", Saruhiko raised his voice, his fingers moving Yata's bangs away from his face ", you'll have to wash my back."

"Huh?!"

"You said you'd do so if I told you what was bothering me."

Yata looked like he was about to scream at him again, but his eyes softened and there was a ghost of a laugh in his lips.

"You sure like having me around you, don't you, monkey?" He pointed with his chin at the unfinished meal, completely missing Saruhiko's surprised expression. "Watch it for me, will you? Gotta kill a spider."

He disappeared in the hallway, humming softly in his way to the bathroom. Saruhiko remained in the same place, the image of Yata's playful smile dancing in his eyes. He simply couldn't get used to it – he couldn't get used to a happy Yata living with him, being angry, happy and loving because of _him_ and him only; it was just too much. Hell, he didn't care if they were to live in a hole full of spiders; having Misaki was more than enough. The worst part is that he learned to love all the little things that came with it too: he loved eating the same fried rice every day, he loved how Misaki would steal his covers and apologize in the following morning, how they'd play video games together until they collapsed on each other's arms, how the entire house smelled like Misaki, Misaki, _Misaki_ and a little bit of himself, too.

But now there was a funny smell on the kitchen, and that definitely wasn't Misaki's smell.

"There, I killed it, you can go and have your ba- AH!" Yata screamed in horror as the smell of burning food reached his nose in the hallway. He ran to the kitchen – _his_ kitchen – occasionally swearing on his way.

"What the _heck_! I told you to watch the food! Now it's all burned and shitty!"

"…It's not all burned, just a little-"

"I DON'T CARE! We're not eating this crap! You _ruined_ it!"

"…I don't want to bring this up now, but you still have to wash my bac-"

"SCREW YOUR BACK. YOU BURNED MY FOOD."

"It's still Misaki's food, I'd still eat it~"

A few minutes later, Saruhiko ended their heated discussion with a kiss ("DON'T YOU DARE USE YOUR LIPS TO MAKE ME SHUT UP!") and a phone call to the closest convenience store, because Yata seemed more inclined to eat a piece of plastic (or anything else they could buy) than his _doomed_ food.

He kissed the smaller boy again when Yata agreed to wash his back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the sweet messages and reviews, you guys are the best! I wouldn't be able to bring myself to write this if it wasn't for you. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! On a side note, you don't really need to read chapter one to understand this one.**

* * *

A sequence of soft noises alerted Saruhiko of Yata's presence in the room – he could never bring himself to be completely silent, no matter how hard he tried. Saruhiko, however, didn't look at him, eyes focused on the bright screen in front of him. His fingers rested on the laptop's keyboard as he furrowed his brows at the screen, and Yata could almost _smell_ his concentration.

Carefully, he walked towards the taller boy, holding a mug of hot cocoa in each hand. Yata kneeled down and handed one mug to Saruhiko, who mumbled a muffled 'thanks' without letting his eyes drift away from the screen. Trying his best not to spill his drink all over the bed, the smaller boy sat close to his partner, using Saruhiko's back as a support to his own back. He waited for a second, hesitantly expecting Saruhiko to complain about his sudden presence, but he didn't. Satisfied with himself, Yata relaxed and took a sip of his chocolate. He hoped Saruhiko would like it – surprisingly, they had a very similar taste when it came down to chocolate, so if Yata liked it, there was a big chance Saruhiko would like it too.

He wanted to ask if it tasted good, but Saruhiko was working, and even though he said several times he didn't mind being bothered by his Misaki in the middle of work, Yata wouldn't just go along with that shit; he didn't like SCEPTER 4, but he respected Saruhiko's work. Instead of asking, he simply growled to himself in annoyance.

"Something's the matter?" Saruhiko asked without looking away from his laptop.

"Huh? No." Yata bit his lip as a reminder to keep his mouth shut.

The only problem was that Yata wasn't exactly the kind of person who could just sit down and stay quiet. Before he noticed, he managed to drink all of his hot cocoa in less than two minutes and now was messing with the closest pillow. He leaned down to grab another pillow and his back hurt as soon as he stretched his arm, making him gasp softly.

"What are you doing?" Saruhiko asked, raising an eyebrow at the screen.

"Uh, nothing. My back hurts a little, that's all."

"Then go to sleep."

"I don't want to. And stop ordering me around!"

"Haaah? Of course you want to sleep. Old people love taking naps. Aren't you the _older one_, as you keep reminding me, Misaki~?"

A pillow was violently thrown against Saruhiko's head.

"Shut up and do your fucking job, monkey! I am just a few months older than you!"

"And these few months blessed you with superior knowledge of life, I suppose?"

"Of course they did! Now go back to your boring office work!"

Yata couldn't see, but Saruhiko smiled to himself before focusing on his work again. Soon after their conversation died, Yata found himself once again messing with the closest pillow, even though his mind was still a bit curious about what just happened – he never felt his back hurting before. And he wasn't _that_ old. Also, it's not like he spent his entire day sitting uncomfortably in front of a computer like _someone_-

_Oh._

"Hey, Saruhiko."

"I thought you ordered me to shut up and do my job?"

"Well, yes." Yata was glad that Saruhiko couldn't see the faint tone of pink in his cheeks. "But, um, looking at you like that… are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you feel any pain? Aren't your eyes tired? You've been working on this computer of yours since early afternoon."

"Don't pour your mama senses on me now, Misaki."

"I'm not- augh, stop being stubborn! I just want to make sure you don't faint on me!"

"…I won't. Now let me focus on this."

Yata pouted in annoyance, but he didn't say a word. Instead, he just watched silently as Saruhiko typed in a monotone rhythm, eyes focusing on the faint light illuminating the other's boy pale skin. Saruhiko was always pretty skinny, but in Yata's eyes, he became even skinnier in the last weeks. Yata was sure it wasn't his fault – he always cooked healthy meals, sometimes he even managed to persuade Saruhiko into eating a vegetable or two, and he'd never let the other boy skip meals. He was sure the one to blame was SCEPTER 4, as usual – weren't they giving him loads of stupid tasks lately?

Without any hesitation, Yata turned around again and rested his fingers on Saruhiko's back; he gasped when he felt the soft shape of the taller boy's ribcage.

"…What are you doing?" Saruhiko's voice sounded curious and surprised at the same time.

"Don't mind me! Just focus on your work!"

"I can't focus on anything when Misaki's touching me."

"Hah?! I-I'm not going to do anything, I'm just- well- just ignore me for now!"

"…Tch. Boring."

Yata took advantage of the silence to keep analyzing Saruhiko's lack of weight; he was doing his best not to disturb the other boy, and, after being told to shut up several times, Saruhiko gave up on trying to understand what was happening.

The silence between them lasted for six minutes, before Yata touched Saruhiko's shoulders with both hands:

"Uwah, it's so stiff!"

Saruhiko turned his head, trying to face him with an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Um, sorry. Didn't mean to disturb your work." Yata mumbled in a resigned tone. "But, you know, your shoulders could use some rest."

"I said it already, I don't feel any pain."

"So what? They're hard as a rock!"

"Sounds quite nice when you say it, Misaki."

"W-Wha-! Stop saying weird things, will you?!"

"You're the one who started it." He grinned at the other boy's flushed cheeks. "So, you want to give me a shoulder massage or what?"

"Who said anything about a massage?!"

Saruhiko turned his face back to his laptop, his smile never fading away. When he heard Yata jumping out of the bed and leaving the room in his usual annoyed pace, however, he pouted.

His shoulders felt warm.

Yata came back a few minutes later, storming his way through the room. Saruhiko had no time to open his mouth and ask what happened; he unconsciously forced himself to shut up at Yata's sudden glare.

"Alright, I'm doing this just for a little while!"

He sat behind Saruhiko once again.

"What-"

"Aren't you supposed to finish this report tonight?! Then do it!"

Saruhiko wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but the soft sensation of Yata's hands pressing his shoulders in a slow but steady pace kept him silent. A few moments later, he finally realized what was going on.

"…This is the worst shoulder massage ever."

"H-Huh?! You're the one who asked for it! Stop being an asshole, would you?!"

"I didn't ask for it."

"You _did_!" Yata pressed his hands against Saruhiko's skin with a little more force than necessary, and the taller young man growled. "B-Besides, your shoulders are all fucked up. Y-you're lucky I have free time to look after you!"

" Yeah, right, Misaki. You have more free time than a kid in preschool."

"You damn-! Stop making me want to strangle you!" Yata smacked an open hand against Saruhiko's neck. "I'm the one taking care of this damn house! Just because I don't have any more Homra… assignments…"

Yata's voice slowly faded away in a painful note. As much as Saruhiko hated it, he knew that Homra was still a sensitive spot in his heart; he missed the bar, he missed his _pride_, he missed Suoh Mikoto. Saruhiko always believed that he'd never understand that side of Misaki, he'd never _accept_ it; but love was surprising, and when they started living together, he found himself wanting to take Yata's pain away from him, to free him from that horrible burden. Sadness tasted bitter in Yata's mouth, and he wish he could simply take that bitterness to himself; he was used to that taste, he could handle it so much better than his poor Misaki.

There was a silent agreement between them that stated that, whenever Yata behaved like his old depressed self used to behave right after Mikoto's death, Saruhiko would annoy him until he got back to normal; it usually ended up with Saruhiko kissing him until Yata complained he couldn't feel his own lips anymore.

"Hey, Misaki."

"…What."

"Come a little closer."

As usual, Yata had no clue about Saruhiko's real intentions, and when he rested his chin on Saruhiko's shoulder, the taller boy quickly turned his face to press his lips softly against Yata's. The shorter boy blushed and blinked repeatedly – Saruhiko loved how he'd _always_ get flustered whenever they kissed, no matter how many times they had done it before.

"W-what are you-"

"What? I'm just reminding you about my shoulder massage. You stopped doing it."

Yata didn't answer, but his hands started to move on Saruhiko's shoulders once again. This time, his hands were moving slower and a lot more softly; it was his own way to say 'thanks' for helping him with his emotional breakdowns.

They didn't talk after that; Saruhiko managed to focus once again on his laptop, and Yata was focused on his own activity. He didn't know if his massage felt good, but the act made him feel a lot more comfortable. The sensation of Saruhiko's shoulders becoming more relaxed under his fingers calmed him, and sometimes he'd find himself caressing the other boy's shoulders instead of massaging it. He expected Saruhiko to joke about it, but he didn't say a word and just kept typing in a rather slow pace.

At some point, Yata noticed the scent of Saruhiko's hair becoming more and more prominent, and he was about to ask if Saruhiko had used his shampoo again when the other boy's head collided softly against his chest.

"Uwah! Saru-"

He stopped himself when he saw his partner's expression; his eyes were closed, the glasses almost slipping out of his face as he breathed in and out slowly. Yata's shadow made the dark circles under his eyes look a lot less dark than they actually were, and the shorter boy felt like slapping the damn guy in the face – he obviously wasn't getting enough sleep, and Yata would never know this if Saruhiko hadn't collapsed on top of him.

Yata glared at the notebook before kicking it to the bedside. Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around Saruhiko to make him lie down properly on the bed, and checked his temperature just to make sure that he collapsed because his shoulder massage was too good for his tired body and not because he was sick. He sighed and rolled to his side of the bed, not bothering with changing into pajamas. Saruhiko's glasses were also placed on the bedside. At some point, the cold sensation on his skin made him realize he totally forgot to bring clean blankets, and Yata growled in frustration, pressing his body against Saruhiko's to make himself feel a little warmer. Not only it was warmer like that, it also smelled quite nice.

Before falling completely asleep, he felt a warm hand resting on his hair and Saruhiko's familiar lazy voice mumbling "Misaki" as he wrapped an arm around the smaller boy.

Yata didn't notice his own smile.


End file.
